apoemaday:

by Shel Silverstein

Thanksgiving dinner’s sad and thankless
Christmas dinner’s dark and blue
When you stop and try to see it
From the turkey’s point of view.

Sunday dinner isn’t sunny
Easter feasts are just bad luck
When you see it from the viewpoint
Of a chicken or a duck.

Oh how I once loved tuna salad
Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too
‘Til I stopped and looked at dinner
From the dinner’s point of view.

harampolice:

thank you for following me I have nothing to offer

(via imjustamadae)

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

sergle:

another weird thing about beer is that it has weird masculinity connections to it. “ya i’ll get a beer, i don’t want none of them girly drinks” Jimothy, you’re drinking wheat juice with a 5% alcohol content and my mixed, fruity, “girly” drink is 40% alcohol and tastes great

O.KAY *CRACKS KNUCKLES* I AM ABOUT TO GIVE YOU AN EDUCATION

BEER IS TRADITIONALLY A WOMAN’S DRINK, IT IS THE MOST FEMALE OF ALL OF THE DRINKS. FOR THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS, BEER WAS MADE AT HOME BY WOMEN, TO BE CONSUMED BY WOMEN AND CHILDREN–IT WAS ACTUALLY A SOURCE OF NUTRIENTS FOR MANY HOUSEHOLDS. WOMEN CREATED THE CRAFT OF BEER, AND FOR MOST OF HUMAN HISTORY THAT IS WHO YOU’D BUY IT FROM: MANY WOMEN MADE ADDITIONAL INCOME BY BREWING AND SELLING BEER FROM HOME. IT WASN’T UNTIL THE ERA OF INDUSTRIALIZATION THAT BEER BEGAN TO BE BREWED IN FACTORIES. AND ONCE BEER WAS BEING BREWED ON A LARGE SCALE, IT MADE TO START MARKETING IT TO ALL THE MALE FACTORY WORKERS WHO SUDDENLY HAD EXTRA INCOME. HENCE AN AGGRESSIVE MARKETING CAMPAIGN TO RE-BRAND BEER, A DRINK INTRINSICALLY TIED WITH WOMEN’S HISTORY, AS A ‘MASCULINE’ BEVERAGE. 

EVEN BETTER, FEMALE BREWSTERS WERE THE ORIGINAL WICKED OLD WITCH. THE TROPES WE COMMONLY ASSOCIATE WITH STEREOTYPICAL WITCHES ARE ACTUALLY BASED ON THE TRADITIONAL BREWSTER. CAULDRONS & HOT STEAMING POTIONS = BEER BREWING. THE WITCH’S HAT: BELIEVE IT OR NOT POINTY HATS WERE ACTUALLY WORN BY BREWSTERS WHEN SELLING THEIR PRODUCT AT MARKETS: THE ENORMOUS HEADGEAR HELPED THEM STAND OUT, AND CLEARLY TOLD EVERYONE ‘YO MOTHERFUCKA GET YOUR BEER HERE’. 

CATS AS FAMILIARS: CATS WERE COMMONLY USED TO PREVENT RODENTS FROM GETTING INTO THE WHEAT. EVEN THE BROOMSTICK IS RELATED TO BEER: A BUNDLE OF TWIGS RESEMBLING A BROOM WAS USED AS AD FOR ALEHOUSES

so basically, beer is the ultimate woman’s and witch’s drink

REBLOG ME

fuck u guys, i didn’t spend 20 min fact checking for 3 notes

ok right links fine

i was probably drunk when i wrote this. best i can remember:

http://brewhoppin.com/2015/10/the-truth-of-women-and-beer-witches/

http://ifmycoastercouldtalk.bangordailynews.com/2015/10/29/events/of-witchcraft-brewsters-and-beer/

http://www.alltheswirl.com/blog/5ayax6j7b7nje35lr4lk48fj3cwlz3

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/11/women-and-beer-a-4-500-year-history-is-coming-full-circle/281338/

all these whiny bastards complaining about my taste in caps lock. I rewrote it for you:

*Sighs heavily and re-cracks knuckles*

Beer is traditionally a woman’s drink, it is the most female of all of The Drinks. For thousands of years, beer was made at home by women, to be consumed by women and children—it was actually a source of nutrients for many households. Women created the craft of beer, and for most of human history that is who you’d buy it from: many women made additional income by brewing and selling beer from home. It wasn’t until the era of industrialization that beer began to be brewed in factories. And once beer was being brewed on a large scale, it made sense to start marketing it to all the male factory workers who suddenly had extra income. Hence an aggressive marketing campaign to re-brand beer, a drink intrinsically tied with women’s history, as a ‘masculine’ beverage.

final bit:

Even better, female brewters were the original wicked old witch. The tropes we commonly associate with stereotypical witches are actually based on the traditional brewster. Cauldrons & hot steaming potions = beer brewing. The witch’s hat: believe it or not pointy hats were actually worn by brewsters when selling their product at markets: the enormous headgear helped them stand out, and clearly told everyone ‘yo motherfucka get your beer here’.

Cats as familiars: cats were commonly used to prevent rodents from getting into the wheat. Even the broomstick is related to beer: a bundle of twigs resembling a broom was used as advertising for alehouses.

so yeah, beer = witch’s brew. other things to check out:

Fermented low-alcohol beverages being the prime source of safe drinking water, for the whole family, for much of human history.

Beer, women, and the invention of the drinking straw (trivia, the oldest known straw is Sumerian, 5000 years old, made of gold and lapis lazuli. )

Monks horning in on the female-dominated brewing economy, the medieval church persecuting female brewsters

Monks adding hops (and making beer gross) in order to lower their libido (and to avoid the temptation of gay sex)

Dionysus, god of winemaking, and his raving, drunken madwomen followers, the Maenads. 

Or any of a long list of goddesses associated w/ beer. Tenenet, the ancient egyptian  goddess of childbearing & beer brewing. The earliest beer recipe, found in a 3900 year old poem honoring Ninkasi, patron goddess of brewing

And that’s all for now folks. Happy drinking’

no one ever reblogs this version and i wish they would

(via kill-a-lily)

brickfuckingmasterr:

thescienceofjohnlock:

tom-marvolo-dildo:

queen-baelin:

queen-baelin:

I just want you guys to know that the woman of the confused lady meme is a Brazilian actress

it’s a scene from a soap opera. her character was called Nazaré Tedesco. This was one of the most iconic roles in all of Brazilian soap operas. So here goes another iconic scene (it’s Nazaré kidnapping a baby) that you guys can use to make memes:

I’m so glad this post is still going around

wtf this entire time i thought she was the tall lady from american horror story

I thought it was Julia Roberts

She’s also popular among the Brazilian LGBTQ+ community bc of a scene of her saying “lesbians. I can smell the leather from far away”

(via solicitorfrommars)

thatiswhy:

boringangel:

boringangel:

moon: full

titties: out

tumblr: no

I am forcibly removed from the blog I’ve been running for 9+ years.

(via bob-belcher)

starrblaster:

dare-i-say-asexual:

diablojobs:

its appropriating DD/LG culture and making fun of it, which invalidates our experiences! we didnt choose to have this kink and haha just kidding but could you fucking imagine.

god every time this meme comes up it gives me so much fucking whiplash

(via thicctor-frankenstein)

suicide-d0g:

roguebelmont:

longlegmadejs:

the tea is scorching hot today!!

Shipping real people will never be cute, it’s gross and creepy. Stop.

shipping real people will never be cute, it’s gross and creepy. stop.

(via jolteon-was-the-prophet)

mxxn-kitten:

vampire-kohai:

mxxn-kitten:

stonedlilbrat:

mxxn-kitten:

Me- I don’t wanna go to class today. I feel out of it

*classes is cancelled *

Me- God???? Is that you???

Me: I️ don’t want to go to work today

Boss:

(Looks like God’s got both our backs today)

Bless this day ❤️❤️❤️

I swear this post is blessed or something because I said “I want a reason to go somewhere” while looking at this post and then pretty much just after, my mother asked me to go to the store to get some eggs since I used the last 2

Reblog this post to get something you want

I DONT WANT TO WORK PLEASE GOD PLEASE.

(via newyorkerz)